Monday, February 9, 2009

How to Lose Data the Microsoft Way

1. Use File and Settings Transfer Wizard

I should end here, but just for posterity...

2. Uncheck all the options and only select the option to backup specific folder. Specify "C:\Documents and Settings". Chuckle to yourself as you wonder if anyone else was clever enough to use this to transfer multiple user accounts.
3. Watch the backup process succeed in creating a large .DAT file of unknown composition.
4. Assume you know what you are doing.
5. Format, Reinstall, and attempt to restore using the wizard.
6. Stare in bewilderment at all the missing user accounts and lack of data.
7. Cry a little
8. Create all the user accounts and try running the wizard on each account while logged in.
9. Allow a small gasp of hope when you notice all the avatars are restored on the Welcome Screen. It must have restored their data!
10. Cry again when you realize it didn't. At all.
11. Unpack the F.A.S.T archive using some obscure 3rd party program called fastconv.exe.
12. Cry some more after it fails on the translation database and you are left with thousands of arbitrarily named .DAT files. Try it again in WINE and get the same error.
13. Write a script to add extensions to the files based on magic library... and cry again when you realize the small number of files are only related to the user account that was logged on during the initial F.A.S.T migration.
14. Curse the heavens, curse Microsoft, then curse yourself for being such an idiot.
15. Blame the user for not making regular backups.

No comments: